41

41 is one of those off numbers. It’s not all monumental like turning 40. And it doesn’t have the cool geek factor of 42. So what will be 41 be for me ?

Well I’ve got four couch to 5K workouts under my proverbial belt. I’ve kind of gotten my eating under control. Although today I plan to have pretty much whatever I want. Funny thing is “whatever I want” turned out to be deciding to have my healthy waffle at home instead of McDonald’s with the boys this morning. I dropped them off for summer camp this morning and that’s what they wanted. But not me, I wanted my whole wheat chia seed waffle. Weirdness.

So the boys are gone for a week which in theory means that I should be able to run, eat healthy, and get tons of work done, right? Not so right. My husband works from home also and he’s not feeling well, so I’m pretty sure this week will not be productive.

I don’t know. I’m in a very bad place right now. Things are not going the way I want personally, and I’m feeling tremendous pressure to grow my business. 41 feels really old and I’m really starting to feel my weight. I had a big trade show recently and I was so exhausted by it. The next one is in January and I have to be lighter and fitter by then.

Fortunately I have plans with some girlfriends today (purse shopping!) so that should cheer me up. Maybe I’ll have a picture of a really nice purse to show you next time. Tomorrow is W2D2!

 

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Week One Done!

I was going to title this post “Week One Done – Again.” but then I realized how negative that sounded. So I’m starting over. So what? At least I’m doing something. I could sit on the couch and watch myself get fatter and fatter or I can take control of my eating and get out there and run. So I run.

I did the same route in my neighborhood all three days this week. Normally I kind of hate running in my neighborhood. I feel so conspicuous. But I only saw a few cars and only one person. So it wasn’t that bad. Today I definitely covered more distance in the time allotted for week one. I’m not sure if I was running faster or walking faster, but more got done. And that’s always good!

It’s the Fourth of July and we have absolutely no plans. None. It kind of snuck up on me. I’m thinking about taking the boys out to the movies. And then driving out to the beach to see some fireworks. I don’t know. They are leaving for camp on Sunday at the buttcrack of dawn (my birthday of course) so I feel like we should do lots of things before they leave. Of course they are teenage boys so they might not like my plans for forced togetherness. We’ll see.

Next week I do week two! I’m already eyeing some fall 5K’s!

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Oh hi there.

I’m still alive. It’s been kind of sobering to read back over this because of all my starts and stops. But then I realized that if I don’t start again I certainly can’t finish.

I’m creeping up on 41 (a week away actually) and I’m still quite fat. In fact today I’m fatter than I was when I started all this. 3 pounds fatter. But you gotta start somewhere. I got up this morning, put on my running clothes and did week 1 day 1 of Couch to 5K. I was tempted to run longer than the minute because I know I can. But I think I will just take it slow and work the program and see where it gets me.

I’m also trying to decide what sort of eating plan to embrace. I’ve been reading Dr. Furhman’s Eat to Live. He advocates a plant-based diet – unlimited fruits and vegetables and beans with small amounts of unprocessed grains and other extras. The idea of not counting my food is very enticing. But I’m also looking at a whole foods calorie counting type approach – like this Lose Weight By Eating idea. She is quite obsessed with fruit waters though.

I don’t know. Long story short (too late!) I’m back to running and I need way more fruit and veg in my life and way less processed crap. So there you go! Oh and bonus insanely red faced picture:

Photo on 6-30-13 at 7.57 AM

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Starting Over

Well not completely. When I started this journey over 2 years ago to become a runner I could barely run for a minute. Today when I went out for a run to reassess about the most I could manage was a half mile. So I did some half-mile intervals. Got nearly an hour of running and walking in when all was said and done.

It felt good.

I was tired. And my left shin ached just a little bit. And I got my crazy red face when I was done. But I got out there and I restarted. And now I’m eyeing my next 5K. I might not be able to run the whole thing but I’ll be able to finish!

 

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I’m not moving.

So I fell in love with a song. Like you do. And I’ve listened to it about 27 times since yesterday. It’s a Straight No Chaser cover of “The Man Who Can’t Be Moved.”. It’s romantic, right? Dude is still in love with the girl. So he goes to the corner where they met with his sleeping bag and waits for her to change her mind and come back to him. So she will know where he is.

‘Cause if one day you wake up and find that you’re missing me
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be
Thinkin maybe you’ll come back here to the place that we’d meet
And you’ll see me waiting for you on the corner of the street
So I’m not moving, I’m not moving

Romantic yes? He will wait for her forever and he’s not moving. I thought so at first. He’s so dedicated, so in love. And he’s a total idiot. She’s not coming back. But even if she does, how will you feel? You’ve spent days, months, YEARS of your life waiting. Standing still while this girl went on with her life. Won’t you be just a little bitter about that? And honestly dude you deserve to live. EVERYONE deserves to live. Deserves to move.

I deserve it.

This is not an epiphany about a long lost love. I don’t have one of those. My husband is amazing (ok sometimes he annoys the poo out of me, but don’t they all?) and he adores me and thinks I walk on water. But there are people, relatives, circumstances, friends… that I pine for. Problems and divisions that happened years ago that I still think I can fix. But I can’t.

I can sit still for years. I can wait and waste energy on people and ideas and wants that don’t want me back. But it won’t change things. These things may never be mine again. Maybe they aren’t supposed to be. And in the meantime I’m sitting still, with my sleeping bag, on the corner just like the stupid dude in the song.

Well not anymore. It’s not fair to me. And it certainly isn’t fair to the friends and family members who are right here with me. I have incredible people in my life. And I have things I want to do and places I want to go.  I’m done with not moving.

Time to move.

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Back in the saddle

I don’t know why I stop. I feel so good when I run. It’s like I forget or something. It’s been months since I ran. To be specific it’s been 2 months and one week. Why? I have no idea. My last run was nothing short of amazing – I ran 5 entire miles that day and I felt like I could conquer the world.

This morning to get back in the swing of things I did 2 easy miles on my favorite trail. It felt a bit hard – the old legs just aren’t used to the motion like they were. But I plodded along and listened to some of my favorite songs and watched the sunlight streaming through the trees. I would have stopped to take a picture, but I was bound and determined to run non-stop.

It was smoky this morning though which kind of sucked. I think I could have gotten in 3 miles, but I was afraid to push it because of the smoke. Now I’m off to hit the showers and tackle the day!

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Best. Race. Ever.

It was freezing. 32 degrees when we arrived this morning at 7am. 32 degrees in Florida mind you. We had to arrive early to try to get shirts for my cross country team because they ran out on Friday. So we got shirts, chilled (literally) in the van for awhile and then waited for my runners to arrive. I had 10 kids out there today, which makes it fun.

It’s an out and back course along the river, so as I’m still running the first half, my cross country kids are coming back – it’s nice to have someone to cheer and wave at. I saw my son early on – I knew he was doing amazing. And he was – my 13 yo rockstar ran it in 23:11! So proud of him.

I plodded along at my normal turtle-like pace, but I felt good. My knees didn’t hurt at all from Thursday’s fall and the cold breeze actually felt good on my scratched up palms. The river was gorgeous and there were tons of runners this morning. It was a 5K and a 10K, so as I was finishing my 5K, bunches of 10K runners were coming in. It was actually kind of neat to be passed by the cool kids.

When I rounded the corner to the finish line I saw my son, waiting for me and cheering, “Go Mom!” And then (I type this with tears in my eyes – it meant that much to me) he ran alongside me for the last 50 yards.

So I finished with my best time ever – 40:49! I’m so close to that under 40 minute 5K I can taste it. And I think my son gets to do anything he wants to do today. He’s that awesome.

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